Are you wondering why you are living a miserable life and not the life that you dreamed of?
If the answer for this is pointing towards your partner’s behavior, then you must think of the things that you really want in life.
In this article, you would begin to think of ways you can defend yourself from passive aggression. If you want to defend yourself from being angry or guilty, you must find out what causes your partner’s behavior.
Dealing with your partner’s passive aggressive behavior is very frustrating. If you do not do anything about the problem, it can lead to many serious problems. If you tolerate this behavior, it could create a pattern where you and your partner avoid problems rather than deal with them.
You can combat this kind of behavior by recognizing it. You should be aware that in the end, it will always be YOU who will suffer everything. You should be able to STOP that wrecker behavior!
If your partner complains about anything and everything, does not keep promises, blames you for their own problems and avoids confrontation, then your partner could be a potential wrecker in your loving relationship.
At first glance, your partner may appear quite friendly but at some point, you will be challenged negatively by your partner’s inconsistent behavioral pattern. Your partner with this kind of behavior can be inconsistent and ambiguous. He often expects you to read his mind and meet his needs. If your partner finds out that he is incapable to live up his responsibilities, he would try to treat you silently, he will use this as a tool as an escape. When everything falls apart, he puts the blame on you. In the end, you will be the one to face his issues, making you feel frustrated, confused, offended, and depressed.
Now, you will wonder HOW to deal with this behavior.
You must keep in mind that this is NOT your fault. If your partner cannot deal with his own issues in life, it has nothing to do with you. If you think fixing it for him would make things better, then you are doing a wrong move. There will be no hope if you are wasting your time by feeling guilty over something that is not really your own problem. You cannot get your needs met and you become a martyr-victim who will suffer emotionally, and that will lead you to your own destruction. Do not make it hard for yourself!
You have to make a deal with your partner. Be direct about how you feel by bringing up the problems and explain to your partner how would you like him to respond to this. You must make your partner realize that if there is lack of communication, it will distance you further and will eventually ruin your loving relationship. This way, you would be able to improve the situation and it will help you both grow as a couple. Talking about your fears and concerns openly will help you understand each other deeply.
Fair fighting can work in your situation. Try to dissect his patterns and confront him with his destructive tendencies. Do not protect him if he tries to make excuses. constantly remind him of the consequences if he allows himself to be eaten by his personal demons. Let him make solid decisions for himself and that he has to stick to it.
If there is an attempt to control you through anger, like sarcasm or irritability, you must make him realize that his anger is a result of his fears. Find out the reasons of his anger. Silent treatment will never be a good way to solve problems bcause it is going to cause further distance to the both of you.
Remember: If a relationship which do not allow straight talk, cooperation and expression, it can become destructive. When things do not improve, then it is time for you to find help from someone who understands this behavior. If things are not workable, then it is time for you to take a good look at your need to live with conflict. Move on with your life.
To your happiness,
Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions
Claim your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationship‘