So you’ve been wondering why you can’t get your ex back and you are pretty sure that you really want to hear the truth. Honestly, the truth can be quite harsh and it can leave you feeling pretty stung. Yet, the truth is often the one thing that can spur you on to make changes in your life that are positive and less painful. The first goal to get ex back is to look at some of the walls we put up ourselves.
Breaking up with someone we truly love is a good example of this action. We have no evidence that they might leave us, but at least if we break up with them the pain won’t be as bad. And so we toss away something wonderful in exchange for our own self induced pain.
We scour the shelves looking for a fat loss solution when we are still clutching a bag of potato chips in our hand. We pretend we want to lose weight, but we also know that the weight keeps the guys away, and we can then remain in control. We don’t want to be a joke or experiment, and we certainly don’t want money riding on our behaviors.
All of the beauty cosmetics in the world can not hide your ugly side from the world, since that is the one that you put out there. By being ugly, cruel, and even mean you are sure that you will never again have to give into pain in order to be briefly loved. You have lost your faith in the human race.
Perhaps if we continue to tell ourselves that we have failed, are worthless, and are really never going to amount to anything we will be so uncomfortable in our own skin that we will have to make changes and become better people. Maybe if we keep drilling our own negative thoughts into our head we will somehow learn to grow from the experience.
Why don’t we just stop it? It’s not an easy thing to stop. If we believe that letting someone love us will mean one day they will hurt us so deeply we can’t move in the world as a functional human being, we’ll choose loneliness instead. How do you stop doing what you are doing if you believe it is safer?
The problem is that the more we protect ourselves the more we end up hurting ourselves. We believe that no one can be as good as they seem and that no one will ever want to hear everything that we’ve kept locked in our heads. We are, by all means, individuals trying to figure out how to be a community.
