Let’s pick up where we left off yesterday in terms of the challenge that one might face if you cannot approach a girl in the first place. Some would say this is a problem with self image, the way you think about yourself and this question borders on the, good guy, bad guy argument. The notion that the good guy always comes last.
Normally when referring to the good guy there is the implication that this individual is overly nice, he over compensates and try’s too hard. Now personally I am not sure whether this makes for a nice guy. The key issue here is insecurity and insecurity is not an attractive trait by any means.
We as human beings desperately want security and as a result we seek it out in most everything we do, we look for security in our jobs and in our relationships. It is our instinct to survive. So if you overdo it with a girl in terms of buying her gifts and constantly calling and doting on her, then it reflects insecurity.
This type of behavior is normally associated with the nice guy, because he is always there for the girl, which means that he has no life of his own and is relying on her for his satisfaction and sense of well being.
To me this does not make for a nice guy, this makes for a guy who is dependent and insecure and is using the other for his own benefit. Sure on the surface he may be nice but his motives are selfish nonetheless.
So if you want to attract a girl then you have to begin with your self, if seeking relationship is all about filling your void and getting what you want, then the relationship is not about the other person but about what you want. Both the good guy and bad guy both have motive, but it just seems on the surface that the bad guy is more secure in himself due to his actions.
However there are plenty of good people out there who are both mature and secure within themselves. They are independent but not self serving and these types of individuals are the most attractive.
