When we want to get our ex back, we all tend to think the same kind of things. We’ve got to promise them we’ll change, we’ve got to do some fast talking, we’ve got to apologize fifty times. You can learn more about getting your ex back in 3 steps here.
But often one of the very best methods to get your ex back is to listen instead of talk. Know when to listen. Your ex broke up with you most likely because you did some wrong things, like had an affair or were too controlling.
Lets say your ex left you because they felt you were too jealous and controlling. You tried to know where they were at all times, you were jealous whenever they looked at someone else, that kind of thing. What happened is that their heart started to fill up with unpleasant feelings, like anger or hurt that you didn’t trust them. Eventually those feelings replaced their emotions of love and intimacy towards you. Now their heart is hardened towards you with negative feelings.
Your job, to get them back, is to help them to release their negative emotions towards you. You can’t get them back unless they begin to resolve the negative emotions that fill their heart. You can learn more how to get your ex back here.
One powerful way to do this is through listening to them talk. You’ve heard it called venting or getting things off their chest. This is how people commonly deal with negative feelings. They have a beer or glass of wine and talk about a bad day at work or how they feel about what their boss did to them. After venting for a while, they feel better.
Getting them to vent is one of the best ways to help them to let go of all the bad feelings that have built up in them. Yes, of course you will need to apologize and do some of the talking. But get them to talk first and it will make everything else go better.
Ask them how they feel about what you did. Then shut up and listen. Don’t argue or defend yourself. Let them blow off steam. Let them dump their frustrations all over you. Focus on making them feel heard and understood. Keep asking them to tell you more until they are done. Let them do all the talking, you just listen.
If you can get them to vent a time or two, they will then have some room in their heart to feel good about you again. Your apology will likely be much better accepted. Get a free course on How To Get Relationship Advice here.
