If both partners in a relationship feel that their needs are being met, that relationship is likely to survive life’s inevitable ups and downs. We all have needs. if they aren’t being met in a relationship, the unfortunate inclination is to look elsewhere.
A good start to getting your needs met in a relationship is to make sure the other person knows just what those needs are. You can’t read minds, and you shouldn’t expert your partner to be able to read minds either. He or she wants to make sure your relationships needs are met, but you have to let them know what they are first.
Of course, you need to be ready to listen to your partner’s need as well. You might be surprised to learn who different your partners needs and desires are from what you think.
You might feel the need for you partner to tell you he loves you often, so you assume that’s what he wants as well. It’s fine to do that but it may not be a real need that he has. He may prefer you to show your love by considerate little acts. Some people like to be told, and other people crave little acts of kindness.
Communication is key to making any long term relationship work. Discussing your needs is a good place to start. If you both know what each of you want, it’s easier for you to keep each other happy. If a couple isn’t used to having this kind of discussion it may seem a little uncomfortable at first. Telling each other your needs is better than relying on psychic powers and mind reading for your partner to figure out what you want.
When people don’t get what they want they frequently resort to passive-aggressive behavior thinking it’s better than open conflict. Unfortunately, this almost always makes the situation worse. If he does take your hint, it’s only after you’ve acted put upon, angry and resentful. So his doing the dishes might be only to keep you from acting that way.
If you ask for something you need, stating clearly that getting it makes you feel loved and appreciated, you’re more likely to get it than if you sulk and act sullen.
Also keep in mind that each of us is responsible for our own well-being and happiness. Again, open channels of communication help a lot here.
As you probably realize, it’s normal for relationships to have their ups and downs. One shortcut through the rough patches is to learn from others.
Your friends undoubtedly have your best interests at heart but sometimes their too close to you to see everything clearly.
Fortunately, the web makes it easy to get reliable advice.
One site I like a lot is The Relationship Fix.
That site covers many aspects of relationships, but has some especially good information to help in tough times (after all, most of us can handle the good times without any help.
For example, you can find advice on How to Fix a Long Term Relationship. Another page (Second Chance Romance Review) reviews a program that teaches ways to get a relationship back on track.
Just remember that all relationships grow and evolve. Some growing pains are to be expected. A loving, ling-term relationship is well worth the effort.
